Me and a friend were walking down the street, when we saw a dog licking himself. My friend said "man i wish i could that" and i said "you better bet him first" Now It's Your Turn.. -bill-
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Two fellas are fishing in a boat under a bridge.
One looks up and sees a funeral procession starting across the bridge.
He stands up, takes off his cap, and bows his head.
The procession crosses the bridge and the man puts on his cap, picks up his rod and reel, and continues fishing.
The other guy says, "That was touching. I didn't know you had it in you."
The first guy responds, "Well, I guess it was the thing to do - after all, I was married to her for 40 years."We are West End Anglers, a saltwater tribe!
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two old fisherman were at the marina telling their fish stories over a few brewskis.first guy tells his story of catching and landing a 40 pound catfish one day on a cane pole.second says thats nothing,i was running trot lines one night and dropped my lantern overboard.i went back the next night and used my fishing pole to find it.i snagged it and brought it back up and it was still lit.first guy says no way man.second says take 35 pounds off your catfish and i will blow my lantern outBeer,its not just for breakfast
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Hussein and Michelle Obama?"Hey Hillary, regarding the Benghazi Attack on 9/11-we'll just blame it on that movie, not my total lack of security. By the way, what's so significant about 9/11 anyway-was that a date my buddy Bill Ayers of the Weather Underground blew up a government building?" asked Obama to Hillary. BEAUTIFY AMERICA, RUN OVER A LIBERAL, THEN BACK UP AND SEE IF HE'S DEAD.
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What would happen if an aggie jumped off the UT Tower?
Who cares!"Hey Hillary, regarding the Benghazi Attack on 9/11-we'll just blame it on that movie, not my total lack of security. By the way, what's so significant about 9/11 anyway-was that a date my buddy Bill Ayers of the Weather Underground blew up a government building?" asked Obama to Hillary. BEAUTIFY AMERICA, RUN OVER A LIBERAL, THEN BACK UP AND SEE IF HE'S DEAD.
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Old men
Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly. One student said to his friend: "I'm sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that." The other student says: "No, I don't think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome. He walks slowly and his legs are apart just as we learned in class." Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man. They approached him and one of the students said to him: "We're medical students and couldn't help but notice the way you walk, but we couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have. Could you tell us what it is?" The old man said, "I'll tell you, but first you tell me what you two fine medical students think." The first student said, "I think it's Peltry Syndrome." The old man said, "You thought wrong." The other student said, "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome." The old man said, "You thought wrong too." So they asked him, "Well, old timer, what do you have?" The old man said, "I thought it was a Fart...................But I thought wrong, too!"If it ain't broke, DON'T fix it
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