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Texas Rancher-

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  • Texas Rancher-

    A DEA officer stops at a ranch in South Texas, and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, “I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs.” The rancher says, “Okay, but do not go in that field over there,” as he points out the location. The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, “Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me.” Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the rancher. “See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish, on any land. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?”

    The rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores.

    A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life chased by the rancher’s big Santa Gertrudis bull! The officer is clearly terrified.

    The rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs… “Your badge. Show him your BADGE!”
    "Hey Hillary, regarding the Benghazi Attack on 9/11-we'll just blame it on that movie, not my total lack of security. By the way, what's so significant about 9/11 anyway-was that a date my buddy Bill Ayers of the Weather Underground blew up a government building?" asked Obama to Hillary. BEAUTIFY AMERICA, RUN OVER A LIBERAL, THEN BACK UP AND SEE IF HE'S DEAD.

  • #2
    LOL, good one man.

    Reminds me of the joke about the consultant.

    A business consultant shows up at the ranch one morning and says "hello sir, if I can estimate how many cattle you have, can I keep one for myself?"

    Seeing a city slicker, the rancher agrees.

    So the consultant steps out of his BMW, fires up the laptop, logs onto Google Earth, USDA databases, cattle market info, beep-beep-boop-boop, and after 20 minutes says "sir, you have exactly 349 Brangus cattle on your ranch."

    "Well give or take one or two, you're right."

    So the consultant is all happy and loads up a small one into his BMW all funny but he gets the door closed and ...

    "Hey Mr. Consultant, can you please give me back my dog?"

    Just goes to show a consultant will show up when not wanted, tell you what you already know, and then try to steal ya blind.

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    • #3
      nice
      sigpic

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